Compliments; A Win Win

A recent trip to Trader Joe’s reminded me how important it is to compliment people. In fact, my habit was strengthened that morning. Compliments nearly always makes the receiver feel good and brightens their day. Giving them is particularly helpful for people who have a great deal of social anxiety. The person receiving a compliment usually appreciates the interaction, so a positive experience is much more likely, thereby rewarding the person and lessening their anxiety. Sometimes, it leads to a conversation which is even better.

That morning, I noticed a senior citizen who was wearing an unusually hip jacket. My first thought was, “I would totally wear that.” I considered complimenting her, but I was leaving the store, and it wasn’t easy to make eye contact, so I decided to keep walking.

By the time I put my bags in the trunk and fished out my keys, she was putting her cart away next to my car. I took my second chance for a compliment and said, “I love your jacket.”

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree, and then she moved closer to me and asked, “Can I tell you a story about this coat?”

I was pressed for time, but smiled and said, “Of course.”

“My husband bought this for me in Italy in 1975,” she replied.

“Wow,” I said. “That is a great story and no matter how much he paid for it, it was a bargain because it’s really cool and you’re still able to wear it!”

The woman put her hand over her heart, and as she smiled again said, “You don’t know how much that means to me. You’ve made my day.”

This made my day, too. And it reminded me that even when I’m pressed for time, I can make time to compliment someone. So next time you notice something you like about a person, whether it’s something they are wearing, something they did, or a quality you recognize, compliment them.