Anxiety During the Coronavirus: Part 6, Target Relationship
/
This is a guest block by Linda Hermann, M.Ed. LPC with The Marriage and Family Institute (click here for a link to her site) edited by me.
Before all this got really crazy, I thought to myself “a silver lining in all of this is going to be relationships will have the chance to really flourish!” Now, as the weeks have gone by, I really am seeing that. Primary relationships and other friendships.
I have this theory about relationships…..picture the bullseye. Some of “our people” are in the center ring. They are the ones we can be vulnerable with ….transparent with…. They have been there for us, and we are there for them. If we are lucky, we have a couple of those.
Moving out a ring, there are those we feel are REALLY good friends. We can share almost anything with them. They step up during a crisis. They really have our best interests at heart, want us to succeed and will help us do so. The outer rings represent the movement from close friends to mere acquaintances. During this time, I am hearing stories of people moving towards center in our rings:
Stories of neighbors helping neighbors.
Stories of people sending loving texts to friends.
Phone calls from people who don’t usually talk on the phone.
Video conferencing calls between family and friends
Smiling at strangers
Game nights with families
Walks with neighbors they have never walked with before
I challenge you to do one thing every day to move someone from an ‘outer ring’ towards an inner ring!
Having said all that, this can also be a really hard time for relationships, particularly if the relationship was already strained. Close quarters and the stress all around us in the world can take their toll on relationships. To do damage control and remedy problems TRY TO:
Reach out to others to let off some steam when you’re upset. Don’t keep all that pressure ‘inside” the relationship between the two of you. Remember to speak softly and avoid blaming.
Build your relational bank account……do something every day to build up the person in the relationship that is hurting. Even if you don’t feel like it. It will pay off for you, them and the relationship. This can be something as simple as making them coffee. Tell them they are attractive to you. Tell them something you really like about them. Read them something fun out loud. AND do something together each day…puzzles - card games - walk at sunset - drive through the country - picnic in your front yard !
Move every day…..30 minutes each day for your mental well being! (see Jen’s blog #5 for ideas)
And if you feel like you need more….many therapists are seeing people via Telehealth platforms. Reach out to a professional if you need more help.