Anxiety During the Coronavirus - Part 3: Laugh and Cry
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Photo by Sandeep Kr Yadav on Unsplash
A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing.
-Laura Ingalls Wilder
Smile and Laugh
Notice how you feel as you force a smile. Now make yourself frown. Feel the difference? Fake a smile again. Now purposefully fake a long laugh. If you’re like most people, you feel a bit better. Now take a moment to think of something very funny that happened to you or that you witnessed. Or think of something funny that you saw in a movie. My favorite recent funny video is of Pluto the dog on YouTube talking about the Coronavirus. If you can’t think of anything funny click on this link: Pluto.
Some of you have heard about laughter therapy and may have attended or at least seen a laughter group. Dr. William F. Fry of Stanford University examined and even proved that hearty laughter produces endorphins, which are natural pain killers and improve mood. More importantly during the COVID-19 crisis, he found it actually decreases your chances of developing respiratory infections.
Cry
I’ve been studying stoicism a bit. And contrary to what you may think, the stoics didn’t advocate for holding emotions in, rather they encouraged acceptance of emotions (see my previous blog). So to truly be stoic, let out your emotions. Research supports the value of expressing emotion. Dr. T.D. Borkovec, with whom I worked for 2 years at Penn State, found that people who avoid emotional processing (i.e. hold their emotions in) didn’t enjoy the reductions in anxiety from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) that their peers who freely expressed their emotions did. Also at Penn State, Louis Castonguay found that people with clinical depression who did more emotional experiencing during the course of CBT were happier at the end of therapy than those who experienced less emotion. Experiential therapies and schema therapy are among the type of therapies that help the experience of crying and releasing all emotions.
Visit It, Don’t Live in It
This Coronavirus is causing a great deal of emotions for many of you. For me, it has been compounded by the fact that my engagement ended on March 10 and less than 4 hours later, I got a call that my mother had passed away. Exactly one week after we buried mom, everyone in St. Louis County, where I live, was ordered to stay at home (March 23). There are a few reasons why I’m doing really well. One of them is that I cry at least daily, sometimes 3-4 times and sometimes I cry hard. Progress is never linear, but I am crying less with time. I have no doubt that allowing myself to cry enables me to feel good most of the time such that I can write this blog and enjoy playing piano, cooking, video chatting with friends, as well as to sleep, eat, concentrate, etc. While I have brief periods where I feel very sad, I’m definitely not depressed or anxious. My catch phrase for this strategy is: Visit it, Don’t Live in It. Or Visit Your Pain, Don’t Live in It.
To illustrate this, many people go through this hard time like the photo below. They may try to escape to be only on “The Rest of Your Life” side but they continually carry the weight of the Coronavirus worries.
When we visit our sadness or other uncomfortable emotions briefly (usually less than 1-30 min/day) and process our pain like this:
It makes it easier to be like this most of the time:
I liken this to when you feel like sneezing, but you can’t, and you’re on the verge of the sneeze. Then when you do sneeze, it’s taxing, but you feel relieved. Some can relate to haven eaten something bad (not the flu), you’re nauseas, vomiting is very uncomfortable, but you feel relieved after.
Best of luck! Take care and be safe!
I’m planning to post another blog post tomorrow to address your questions and post some of your comments. Please e-mail me at abelshrink@gmail.com with your questions and comments. I may not be able to address all of your questions.
If you’re on FB consider “Liking” my Active Relaxation -The Book page which will provide you with tidbits of advise. However, while I’m writing this BLOG, it will be limited to linking to this BLOG.
Jennifer L. Abel, Ph.D. author of:
The Anxiety, Worry & Depression Workbook,
Melt Worry & Relax Card Deck,
AND Active Relaxation